Tuesday, 5 October 2010

Sir Norman Wisdom

He passed away yesterday, aged 95.In his classic comedic movies he played Norman Pitkin, hapless and clumsy, yelling for Mr Grimsdale when his incompetence got him into terrible trouble.

Sounds familiar?

This evening, my better half wanted sausage, bacon & egg for tea.  No problem, I've cooked all of those before.

I turned-on the grill, cut the sausages, opened the grill door to put the sausages in, and was surprised to see the plastic grill handle inside, cooking gently. This isn't the first time that the grill handle has been cooked. At least I didn't melt the thing -- that was my eldest daughter, a couple of weeks ago (I wonder if cookery disasters is hereditary?).

I knew that I would set-off the smoke alarm if I wasn't careful, so I switched the cooker extractor on, then went to the external extractor fan, tripping over the cats' water bowl on my way and spilling water all over the floor.

I started cooking the bacon in the frying pan, then realised that the bacon would take about 2 minutes, whereas the sausages would take 15. I moved the pan off the heat, and concentrated on the sausages.

When they were nearly done, I finished cooking the bacon, moved the rashers onto plates and cracked eggs into the pan. I managed to crack the first one so hard against the side of the pan that I pierced the yolk and sploshed albumen all over the side. Meh.

The siren of the smoke alarm sounded, telling me that (1) I had been unsuccessful in my extraction efforts and (2) the sausages were close to being cooked. Serving everything up and eating it was a pleasure, allowing me to reflect on my kitchen clumsiness and wonder whether the easy possibility of kitchen disasters was ever used in a Norman Wisdom movie.

1 comment:

  1. Okay.....

    First of all, I have never seen a UK grill (just an American broiler) so I don't know what to say about the handle.

    Nor can I help you with tripping over the cats' water bowl, as I do that myself with unnerving frequency.

    Bacon goes really well in the oven, actually, and takes about 20 minutes. (You can hit it with some brown sugar too, if you want to make it decadent.) This will get the time more in keeping with the sausage. Otherwise, you will have to figure out your start-times like all the rest of us to get the done-times working out like you want them to. :)

    As for cracking eggs, it is safest to crack them on a flat surface like your countertop (not on the rim of a bowl!) but then when you crack them open, let them drop into a small teacup or bowl, before putting them in the hot pan. That way if some shell gets in there, or the egg itself is bad, you get a chance to fix that. Believe it or not it is safer to crack the egg on a flat surface. Tap it a few times *fairly* lightly to break the shell, then use your fingertips to pry it apart into the bowl or cup. That minimizes shells dropped in.